The Act of Letting Go

“Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all.” – Emily Dickinson

One of the most difficult life lessons I have ever learned and a lesson I still struggle with on a daily basis is the act of letting go.

This can include a relationship that once meant something much more than it does now, addiction, sex, drugs, alcohol, friendships, family, a bad habit, you name it. Whatever is weighing you down that you feel a sense of despair in anyway shape or form, is something you need to remove.

Before we get into how beneficial letting go can be. What happens whenever we do not let go? What happens when we hold on too long?

Now, I am not bias – I know everyone is different in the way we all think.

From my personal experience, I have noticed  when I am running away from the ability to properly let go I make myself busy. I find as many things I can do as humanly possible to distract my mind from feeling. This is the worst possible way to go about feeling anything.

You have to give yourself time to heal, time to grieve, and time to truly feel. I did not realize this until all I had was nothing to do and all the time in the world to do it. Some may consider this exciting, a blessing per say. I thought it was. At first. Then, I realized just how much I have been keeping bottling up inside of me. Realizing this resulting in confusion, fear, anger, you name it. All the emotions I wanted to steer clear from. But, we all know – whether we would like to admit it or not – this isn’t the most realistic route to go down.

Let me first introduce that letting go is not a meaning of weakness that you have once and for all given up on the particular situation you are in.

Letting go can represent a number of things partaking in your life.

If you’re anything like me, sometimes you like to recollect on some memories you have had in the past. You may do this so much so you forget about the present moment. By forgetting about the very moment you are in, you literally lose sight of all that the universe has placed directly in front of you.

Letting go is not something, I have realized, that can happen over night. This is a process and it all involves timing.

My freshman year of college was the busiest year of my life, by far. I was more involved than I ever have been. I had 3 jobs at one time on top of everything I was involved with. I rarely got much sleep. And, I ended the year with a 3.0 GPA. (Which, if anyone knows me, is a pretty big deal). I’m proud of myself, honestly. I’ll attest to that.

People need to realize though, you have to be at peace with your inner self and the emotions you are carrying in order to build others up.

Being home at first and having an immense amount of free time – I began feeling conscious of the person who I was falling short of. I realized I was holding onto past relationships that are holding me back from the present moment.

Whenever I realized this, I felt shame. I felt guilty and confused. I did not know what to do or where to go because I have not had a large amount of free time in so long I could hardly remember.

I identified with what I was feeling. Mentally and physically. I felt emotionally exhausted and uninspired. I was being rude to those closest to me. I was sleeping nearly half of the day and wasting time.

This can happen in any life-changing transition to anyone. Let’s say you are quitting a job you’ve had for awhile, you’re dating someone new, you’re moving from a place you have always been. Change and transitioning can take a toll on you.

Allow yourself to feel.

If you do not allow yourself to feel certain emotions, you’re being dishonest with yourself.

We all want to be happy. That’s a fact.

In order to be happy, we have to go through trails and tribulations of sadness, patience, hope, despair, anger, and fear.

In order to truly be happy with ourselves, we have to let go.

So, how can I ‘let go’?

What is holding you back right now? Is there a weight that is weighing heavy upon your shoulders but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is?

You have to take that chance in trusting yourself and trusting what you believe in.

It’s okay to question ourselves, who we are, what we want to become, our faith, our capability to succeed.

This is normal.

Fear, in my opinion, is the hardest part of letting go. Perhaps you want to hold on because you still have faith that the situation may turn around. Maybe you want to hold on because you have never truly let go and are unaware of the changes (good or bad) that may occur based on your decision.

Change is a part of life. We are all ever-changing, as is the world around us. Change is inevitable and the moment we realize is the first step to setting us free.

When I identified with the weight on my shoulders that I did not even realize was piling up, I envisioned a brick weighing me down.

A brick with all the information and demons that are holding me back.

I pictured myself holding this brick and tossing it into a sea of water. Sinking to the bottom. Throwing it off a bridge and watching all my burdens slowly but surely fade away into the abysses.

So, I did that. Grabbed a brick one afternoon and wrote everything down in a letter that I tied to the brick. Then, I threw it off a bridge. We all process emotions differently but with me, physically letting it go was all I needed.

I watched the brick fall into the water and it was like time stopped. I watched it go further and further away from my sight. When it finally hit the water, a large wave encompassed the river and it created a ripple effect.

This ripple effect was a symbol that all my burdens and problems can turn into something beautiful and spread into joy. Letting go fully creates the ability to feel forgiveness with yourself and all you are.

I’ll still fall short and have a hard time resisting temptation. It’s a part of life and I am only human but showing myself I am capable of letting go is an obstacle I am glad I faced. Now, being aware of the emotions when they come is something I have been consistently doing. I encourage you to do the same. Let go of toxicity and negativity in anyway you know how. This life is too short to hold anything back for too long.

To conclude, here are 3 lies you need to stop believing:

1. You’re not strong enough to do this.
2. You’re not brave enough to do this.
3. You’ve messed up too much to have any hope now.

“But I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” – Philippians 3:13

God bless you all. Remember that you were made to fly.

A. Begs