Wild horses, couldn’t drag me away.
Wild horses, we’ll ride them someday.
I have always been a hopeless romantic.
I have always had a heart far too bigger than I thought was normal for a guy my age.
Growing up, seeing all of my other friends getting into relationships, I sat there alone most of the time. Mostly just questioning why I wasn’t good enough to be with someone. I questioned what I should change about myself. What can I do differently to attract someone? Why am I different?
I thought this way for years. Trying so hard to impress others when, in the process, I wasn’t being genuine to myself.
It dawned on me that this is the worst possible way to go about your daily life. I stopped looking for anyone. I stopped finding other people to impress and I started to find myself.
I started a journey to impress myself, to fall in love with myself.
If you do not love yourself, there is no way you can love someone else.
I heard this saying before and took it with a grain of salt, then I realized how brilliant and how true this is.
I needed to get off my ass, stop throwing myself a pity party every day, and love myself.
I began spending a lot of time alone getting to know myself and being comfortable with my own presence and my own thoughts.
After practicing this, I became more confident than I have ever been. I began to know myself for who I truly am. And, I embraced that fully.
I can honestly say, there is nothing more liberating.
Once you stop looking for beauty and realize that it’s right there in front of you is one of the best lessons to be learned.
Do not focus solely on searching for beauty because you may just miss out on the beauty that is within you.
This past summer, I had a summer romance.
It was spontaneous, beautiful, exciting, thrilling, new, fresh, you name it.
Almost as if it were too good to be true.
A relationship that happened out of the blue because two people’s worlds collided at the most unexpected time. A relationship that happened so fast and ended even faster.
So, to the girl who stole my heart this summer, I have a few words for you.
First of all,
Thank you.
I genuinely mean that.
Without you so gracefully sweeping me off my feet even for a short period of time, I don’t think I would be where I am today.
You took me to places, not necessarily physically, but mentally that I never thought I was capable of going.
You showed me to believe in love at first sight. And, most importantly, to believe in myself.
Sometimes I feel like you even believed in me more than you believed in yourself.
Your selflessness in the relationship will forever be admirable to me.
You made me realize spontaneity is the root of all life’s greatest treasures.
Most importantly, you made me realize it is okay to let go and it is okay to be vulnerable to someone even if you may have only known them for a short period of time.
Conversation. Connection. Two words that can start something so beautiful. And, two words that can end something before it ever really started.
Life has a way of surprising us all. We never know what to expect, that is for sure.
You may think you know someone, and they’ll show you your true colors.
People change and so do you. Time doesn’t stop for anyone.
Losing someone, anyone, who once meant the world to you is obviously not easy. But, it is definitely not the end of the world. If anything, it’s a new beginning.
Just like a wildflower, for a period of time it is in full bloom and brighter than ever, over time – the flower dies out. It dies out but there is still hope. There is still potential. There is still faith for the flower over time to bloom once again and became alive again.
You don’t ever have to die out.
If anything, I encourage you to stay in full bloom for as long as possible. Take it all in.
Find beauty inside of you, because it’s there and it always will be.
Alexander Begnel 